At least that’s my plan this year. When I was younger, I tried repeatedly to use New Year’s Resolutions to completely recreate myself. Like many people, I only made it a few days or weeks on most of them.
In social services you are constantly writing goals and objectives. Goals are something you are willing to work towards. They can be short-term or long-term, and a combination of both was always considered healthy. Objectives were the action steps used to reach those goals. Knowing as much as I do about these still didn’t do me much good…
I literally have pages of goals saved in various locations, from actual paper in my journal to saved documents on my computer. How many of those goals have I actually achieved? I have no idea. What I do know however, is there wasn’t always a rhyme or reason as to why a goal was reached or not. There were countless lesser goals I reached or sometimes just forgot about. But some were big- a few I will probably continuously work on, some I had to abandon, and some were so big they are momentous in my memories.
Goals- what are they good for?
One of my biggest accomplishments was purchasing my own home with the paychecks of someone who was never far above minimum wage. It took years for me to first get out of debt, then learn how to STAY out of debt, before I could accomplish that one.
A larger ongoing goal for me has been taking care of my body as I should. My attention to this varies and in some way, shape or form, has felt like one of my biggest failures. But. I will say this ongoing goal has led to a better relationship with myself mentally and emotionally.
I always looked at this goal as one of reshaping who I was on such as a deep level. It meant I had to change EVERYTHING about me in order to achieve. If I could just exercise enough, restrict my diet enough, make the best choices ALL of the time, I would find self-love.
Of course, now I realize it doesn’t always work that way.
I had to find self-love FIRST, which has not been an easy process nor is it ever a linear one. Taking time for myself, showing ME attention, care, and nurturing, has been a good path. It’s leading me to a place where I want to be, fulfilled and feeling like I’m in a better position to help others.
Loving Myself
I’m kinder to myself now, more gentle. I honor myself when I don’t feel good or feel less than 100%. I slow down and check in with ME. I purposely take time to do things I enjoy. I literally stop myself to smell the roses when I pass. I meditate on a regular basis. I shop as organically as possible. I reach out to my loved ones more. I pause my work to cuddle my cat. I seek out positivity and light.
So instead of trying to reinvent myself and create someone new, I am choosing to take care of what I already have. My core is beautiful and amazing. That is something worth preserving, honoring and nurturing.
I would love to hear back on your thoughts on New Years Resolutions in the comments!
